10. Thou shalt be single. As in not married. (You would think we wouldn't need to establish that).9. Thou shalt not ignore the age range of guys I am interested in. My cut-off is 10 years older than me, which is officially pushing it. I have a dad. I have two big brothers and two big brothers-in-law. If you are in their age demographic, the answer is no. Don't make me get them to tell you that.
8. Thou shalt not be checking out my profile at 3:30 a.m. That’s creepy dude.
7. Thou shalt not use exclamation points in excess and for the record in case you didn't know it may just be the most annoying thing ever when you use run on sentences because it really demonstrates your poor writing skills and I'm a writer so really it makes you not very appealing to me which of course makes me not want to date you and that's why I don't answer your emotigrams!!!!!!!!!!
6. Thou shalt not put down "n/a" when asked about your faith. Last time I checked there was a reason you were on this CATHOLIC dating site and it has nothing to do with your 1500 word spiel about how fabulous you are and why I should want to marry you and bear your 12 children.
5. Expanding on number six, thou shalt not be a ChrEaster. The last time I checked "Keep Holy the Sabbath day" didn't translate into "Worship me only on days when a fat man in a red suit or an oversized bunny with an affinity for jelly beans is present."
4. Thou shalt not tell me how tall you are in centimeters. I’m not nine. The extra digit does not deceive me into thinking you are the “tall” in the ever so required “dark & handsome.”
3. Thou shalt use spell check. Seriously guys. The last time I checked I don’t have intelligent conversations with people that describe themselves as “intelegent.”
2. Thou shalt not have photos of you with power tools or any other items potentially used as a weapon for that matter. Particularly your power saw. I’ve watched too much Dexter on Showtime. Power tools spell out Ice Truck Killer to me.1. Thou shalt not be discerning a vocation to the priesthood. I have enough issues as it is. And while for the most part I find myself to be a pretty cool chick, I refuse to compete with the J-Man. He rose from the dead. There's no contest.
2 comments:
Do you know how hard it is to keep from busting out laughing while working a library?! Amy, you are fatanstically witty. This blog just might become my putting-off-work addiction ... wait, wait ... nope, it already has! :) i heart u.
~Lisa J.
It's true, Lisa is a distraction at the circulation desk when she start laughing.
-Mike
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