Dear God...it's me, Amy.

I rarely guffaw.

I'm much more of a giggler. And a squeaker. At times going into an uncontrollable fit of laughter that makes me sound like a cross between a mouse and a dolphin.

It's kind of my trademark.

But there it came. A big old bout of guffaws. Right in the middle of mass.

As is tradition, I was away on retreat with the Marquette Liturgical Choir for some classic bonding time in Lake Geneva. I don't know how it happened or in what context, but at some point in the parish announcements, the words "called to the single life" were used.

Last time I checked I'm not called to the single life. I'm single because of my lack of phone calls actually. I definitely do not consider eating my salary in chocolates and watching "The Notebook" and "The Holiday" for hours on end a vocation. Although if said vocation had a special stipend for consuming all those chocolates, I would definitely consider it.

Alas this year I'll answer happily when Jesus calls to inform me at 12:01 a.m. tonight that "Happy Valentine's Day-- you're still single! Hooray!" But only because I'm registered on five different dating websites and the likelihood of hearing "Happy Valentine's Day" from someone that's male and not related to me is relatively high.

So in honor of my call to the single life, here's a special prayer for all you single girls out there. Perhaps if we chant it in unison, someday-- as in tomorrow preferably, our princes will come.

** Prayer for Valentine's Day **

Heavenly Father,
You who call us to the single life (actually the only one that calls us period), please send us a fine apostle, (named Matthew, Mark, Luke or John optional...we'll settle for a Peter or Paul too) on the feast of St. Valentine's day.

While we are content to knit and be with cats and eat entire pans of brownies on any other other day, on Valentine's Day, please grant us the love and the glory that we customarily only feel on major sales days at the mall.

Be with us in our journey on the single life, and grant us a really comfortable and really cute pair of heels for the road (a.k.a. only possible with your miraculous powers).

Continue to give us pit stops of love along the way, and perhaps if pit stops aren't in our future, at least allow us to bilocate like St. Catherine of Ricci (that way we can get our nails AND our work done at the same exact time!)

Amen.