step 1: discernment

curled up in my mom's old recliner, wine bottle at the ready, chick flick droning on in the background, we stared into each other's eyes.

as if we were the last living creatures on earth.


as in the last woman and the last cat on earth.

don't underestimate the power of such a bond.

at marquette they call it discernment. thinking and praying over what direction your life is to take.

i called it a weekend of figuring out whether or not i would make a good cat lady. definitely an important discernment process. it's only fair to all these guys in the online dating world that i figure out my life's destiny before things get too serious. i figure i've got three life options: nunnery, wife & mother, crazy cat lady.

you can officially scratch the last one off my list. which is so unfortunate. the endless hobbies and habits i could've picked up. spending hours on end in the morning in my bathrobe, my hair done up in the curlers i used to achieve that pre-perm look in 2nd grade, yelling out the window at all the hoodlums interrupting my morning bonding session with my 20 cats.

because you would know it would take hours on end to give them all the attention they would need.

and imagine the muscles i could've gained from carrying all that cat food and kitty litter. i would've been the buffest cat lady on the block. jennifer lopez would be forced to rewrite her song "jenny from the block" about me and my sweet cat lady skills. because i would be that cool.

and it came so close to being a reality too.

when it came to pouring myself a glass of wine and popping in a little "love actually" for a heavy petting session with itsy my best friend's cat, i had no problem. i was excelling at the art of cat woman friday night around 9 p.m.

but when 6 a.m. rolled around and itsy decided that playing hide n' seek under my covers was the morning exercise of choice i was not having it. even when she decided to give up the game for some morning love i was still not having it.

i'm not a morning person.

therefore i am not a morning cuddler.

even if you are a cat.

so call off the field trips to the humane society. send back my full length flannel nightgown. inform bridget jones that this is one singleton that will not allow herself to become the crazy cat lady.

which i suppose means i should put shaving my legs back on my list of things to do and remove the item about sewing massive amounts of pink throw pillows with ginormous cat faces embroidered on them.

you can't deny that this face is cute enough to be on a pillow though.