Fuming in the cubicle...

I am fired UP.

Not to mention my poor editor Maryangela is being forced to listen to what my friends have dubbed as the "angry type."

As in punching the keyboard with each strike of my gloriously long fingernails.

Someone, I'm redacting any sort of adjective nice or not nice I would use to quantify that noun, has started a forum on Catholic Match concerning whether or not any "good" Catholic women will be going to see the new Sex and the City movie when it comes out at the end of the month.

I pray the rosary. I light my vigil candles. I donate clothes and money to the poor and have been known to volunteer from time to time. Don't quiz me on the corporal or spiritual works of mercy, although I know they're in my brain-- somewhere. I go to mass every Sunday, sometimes twice-- or three times. I think I topped out at four once. By all accounts, I think I'm a relatively good Catholic girl living out her faith in the best way she can.

But come midnight May 30, with my cosmopolitan at the ready, ticket in hand, there I will be. And I really wouldn't be overly surprised if I went back again-- and again. But according to this dude by doing so I am committing not just a sin, but a MORTAL sin.

Well. It's never too late for y'all to start lighting the vigil candles in hopes that I can at AT LEAST make it to purgatory.

AND on top of that!

"However, the women portrayed are immoral, selfish and gossipy (all Catholic women should agree with that statement)."

I do believe this man just accused me of not being Catholic-- or at the very least, I am not Catholic enough for him. Or likely anyone else that's been frequenting this forums.

p.s. "The Notebook" is apparently a big no-no as well and sends up a "red flag." I'm going to take a wild guess and say that at least 99.5% of my movie collection has put my soul in some serious serious danger according to this guy. He probably doesn't want to hear that one of my highlights from my 2007 trip to New York was going on the Sex and the City bus tour and drinking cosmos in Aidan and Steve's bar "Scout."

Now I can dispute with these posters what I've learned from my college years of Sex and the City marathons with my friends, what it taught me about relationships and friendship and heartbreak. Sure it's fiction and at times far-fetched, but if any woman can't at least find one scene from the six seasons of the show to relate to (and yes I have seen every episode) I don't think you have a pulse. If you've never had your heart broken or gotten into a fight with a friend, I really don't think you've escaped the womb yet. But I never said that I've adopted the Samantha Jones handbook on relationships (translation: as much premarital sex as possible) for my own life.

But from four months of reading forum after forum it's no use. They're right and I will be eternally wrong. And my soul in their opinion is clearly damned to hell because of it.

It's exactly forums like these on these sites that turn me off so much from Catholic online dating. The piety of it all. The judgement. There's enough judging in the dating scene as it is-- too tall, too short, too blonde, too smart, too independent, too skinny, too fat, too poor, the list goes on and on. I don't need someone passing judgement on my soul-- and deciding it's in mortal danger. As in "back away from her as quickly as you can, turn around and run run run for your life straight to your parish priest."

And lightning strike me dead on the spot, but I do believe a couple of these people could learn a few things about relationships from an episode or two of my beloved Sex and the City that just might help them on their quest to finding Mr. Right.

It's a good thing I'm headed to the archbishop's house later today. Maybe he can squeeze in the 12 hours it'll obviously take to hear my confession.

p.p.s. Did I mention Jane Austen books are supposedly off limits too?!