153 new matches waiting to be viewed. 50 "in communication." And about 30 emails a day informing me that I have another match!
I really wish I was kidding about the large volume of emails.
If eHarmony were a person, it would be one of those people that when you saw them, you ran the other direction. When their name came up on your caller id, you'd gently set the phone down and back away as quickly as possible. If they ever came to your house, you'd shut all the lights off and hide under the bed for at least 4 hours. You'd change your phone number. Redo the locks.
And if necessary, a restraining order or the witness protection program may be needed.
I technically have a week and a half left before I can finally hit the deactivate button on all these Catholic dating websites, but this morning I'd had enough. Hasta la pasta eHarmony. I've got enough on my plate with getting next week's paper ready to go, not to mention myself ready for my Thursday afternoon departure for North Carolina. The last thing I need is to sift through 153 new matches.
Save the pool of bachelors for all the single gal swimmers.
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